AJ Patnode and Family

Letter from Grandpa

My wife, Charlene and I taught Juniors and Seniors Catholic Doctrine in our parish in Grandview, WA for 17 years. We also were active in giving retreats to high school, college and adult married couples during those same years throughout the Northwest and Alaska. We always made a point of discussing abortion at some length. We often used our own son, Michael, as an example, since he has survived five serious heart surgeries and is today at 34 the oldest living person with a malady called "Transposition of the Great Vessels." (His heart is plumbed opposite when compared with most other people.) We could always justify the sanctity of human life, as well as the hidden rewards of love when speaking how glad we were that we had not aborted our son.

Today, Michael has a son, A.J., with even more serious health problems than his own. A few months after Michael met and married his lovely wife, Lori, and then finished graduate school, they had the wonderful news of a baby on the way. After 19 weeks, the doctor scheduled an ultrasound, which is a routine part of pregnancy. The ultrasound showed a normal baby. Our family was overjoyed at this heartening news.

Five weeks later, another ultrasound was scheduled under the advisement of the team of heart doctors that attend Michael. The doctors wanted a level 2 ultrasound which would check the baby's heart, since they knew how serious Michael's heart problems were at birth. Michael and Lori were told that the baby's heart was normal, but the ultrasound exposed other difficulties. The baby was alive, but not moving. This was a heartbreaking bit of news for the family. A two-hour appointment became a full day of consultations and more tests to reveal more information. The parents were informed by a geneticist and a high-risk pregnancy physician of the seriousness of the situation and were counseled about a decision involving an abortion. Michael and Lori decided they would respect this human life they were responsible for and would continue to birth, regardless of the consequences. Michael and Lori's everyday prayer during the pregnancy was to be able to see their son at least a few minutes, so they could get to know their son and he would know he was loved very much.

Our family knew well the consequences of this kind of sacrifice, both financial and emotional that lay ahead. It is always an eternal, life changing decision. One is torn between what is morally right versus the pain and suffering that will lay ahead for the child.

A.J., short for Albert Jacob was born December 17, 1998 with two broken legs, even though the birth was through a Cesarean Section. One of his legs was broken again a few months ago because he is such a fragile child. He is carried on pillows when not in bed. He is almost totally paralyzed. He can neither move his legs, nor swallow, nor move his right arm. His left arm will move a few inches, and his left hand can slightly grasp objects. His head can move slightly from left to right. He is silent because he has a tracheotomy and c-pap to assist with his breathing. His eyes can see, but move very slowly. He appears to recognize people, and studies people intently when a stranger enters the room. He may be able to hear, but maybe not all wave lengths. His body can feel pain, but cannot react to it. His brain may be normal, but he just is not connected to most of his little muscles. He has scoliosis, which has twisted his spine, causing his lungs to have less capacity than they should. He is fed through a tube in his tummy.

Michael, with his BA and Masters, and Lori, a retail buyer, have put their careers on hold and exist on very little without complaints. After all it is their son's life and future they are nurturing and enjoying daily. Lori takes the "day shift" and Michael takes the "night shift."

State paid nurses help out 2 eight-hour shifts six days a week. A.J. requires one person always, 24 hours per day, and two persons to care for him most of the time. A machine helps him breathe. A machine feeds him. A suction machine operated by a helper cleans out his secretions in his mouth every few minutes. There is no hope that he will ever get better. He has been tested by every test known at this time. The doctors surmise that maybe A.J. had a stroke in the womb at 15 or 16 weeks of age, and that is when much of his normal development was changed. A.J. is a blonde headed, handsome young man, and we love him with all our hearts.

Michael, Lori, and A.J. live in an older, small, two-bedroom house that Realtors call a "starter home" that would be appropriate for a young couple with a child. However, they are rapidly running out of room. A.J. lives in the living room. All the apparatus and supplies occupy the entire living room area. Even the dining room table has been removed to make enough room for A.J. Since A.J. can't move, everything must come to him. He is "schooled" every day, even though he is only 23 months old. Michael and Lori are very creative and devise unique ways to introduce A.J. to the things in this world most of us take for granted. The one hand and arm that can move a little are kept busy every day in ways to build a little muscle tone and work on increasing control.

Our problem at this time is space. Our family can provide a lot of the little "everyday" things needed by this young family, but larger space is out of our reach. The little family needs to move from 1,000 feet of space they now occupy to about 2,000 feet of space. The equipment needed is large, and we will be building various kinds of equipment throughout his life to make up for what his own body cannot provide. We will devise an overhead tracked device so we can safely get him to a special type wheelchair, or to use the bathroom, or to shower. These are basic needs that we can see are in A.J.'s very immediate future. A small house simply will not allow us to do what has to be done for A.J. He is now 31 inches long and weighs 22 pounds. This young man who was only supposed to live a few hours, or at most, a few weeks, is now 22 months old.

Currently, our house account is $34,000.00. Local 3rd graders held a quarter drive, and raised over $300 for A.J. Even small amounts, like 25 cents, add up! When the present house they live in is sold, it will realize $20,000. Our goal is $160,000 to purchase a house and make the necessary changes for A.J. to live as normal a life as we can make for him.

The house that we put the earnest money on has many options including large rooms and lots of storage with very little remodeling to be done for AJ's equipment. This house was just completely updated over the last 2 years and the complete inspection showed only a few things that need to be done to complete the sale. Our closing will be Dec. 1, 2000. This is where you come in. Can you help?

We will be glad to meet with anyone, anywhere, anytime to answer any questions that may be asked.

May God Bless you all,

Francis and Charlene Patnode, A.J.'s Grandparents
334 Island Aire Drive
Woodland, WA 98674
360-225-3939
360-225-7079 fax

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